It hurts so good :D

This is probably one of the most intense weeks ever...so many good news n’ so many bad news...lots of hopes n’ lots of worries...so many mixed emotions need to be dealt with...so much to figure out...so much work to do n’ again not so much time to do any!!...

It was planed this Thursday me n’ my sweet friend were supposed to go through this together but she chickened out on me...lucky me!!...by the end of the day I was so hyper n’ tense my only thought was “SCREW IT”...really how hard can it be?!!...I read the “How To” online...how painful can it be?!...just “SCREW IT!!”...anyhow I could really use a pain distraction!!...so I made sure everything was clean n’ sterilized n’ it was only a matter of 2 minutes n’ VOWALA!!!...I pierced my own nose!!! n’ they lied...it doesn’t hurt at ALL!!!...so far am loving it...

Evolution or IS IT?!

Back in primary school days when dear dad used to send us to sleep at 8 PM I truly believed what he said that we need those 12 hours of sleep in order to develop a healthy brain n' if we had anything less than that we seriously feared for our sanity n' wondered if we r gonna grow up to be somehow retarded...after all parents never lie in those pinky days n' although I know now that all they really wanted is to have quiet evenings that theory is still NOT proven wrong :D ...few years latter my parents reduced our sentence to 9 hours n' with some negotiations we accomplished a settlement for 8...now as a grown up I believe 6 hours w'd be ideal...5 w'd be convenient...4 r just about enough...n' in crises (i.e. exams) 3 hours r doable...is this evolution or what?!! after all evolution is just a theory!!...

AND THERE'S TWO OF THEM TOO!!

Look what I found while I was studying Arabic...it kept me wondering for a while n' I could've sworn it is a verb!! But am never so sure! :P

أعرب ما تحته خط

الحق والقوة كفيلان بعزة الأمة

My SAW III Experience

So I was home alone doing some serious studying...feeling really hungry I went into the kitchen n' fixed me something to eat...I decided to take a break n' watch some TV...I flipped through some channels n' then there it was SAW III was on almost half way through...I didn’t even see the I n' II though I was planning to do that cuz my friend told me it is too sick even for me!! I had my doubts about that so I thought watching it w'd be something but eating while doing so will be the ultimate something :P...when it was over I was happy that I managed to keep all the food down though I felt nauseous for a couple of hours after that n' YES!!! IT IS SICK!!! more than I thought it w'd be!! but I guess being alone all the cursing n' freaking out really helped :P...n' BTW I was so alarmed to see how average the guys who made all this up looks like!!!

Addicted to Numbness

Am not a control freak but the person I really enjoy controlling the most is me...being able to block all unwanted feelings n’ pointless thoughts just to be able to function well as human being cuz I just know that dealing with those w’d require too much time n’ energy all which I can’t afford these days...just giving in n’ letting my mind go numb in away a bomb w’d fall near me n’ it wont even bother me much...ppl. w’d be fighting n’ killing each other in front of me n’ I won’t even care to say a word...ppl. sometimes wonder what kind of drugs am on...but I swear to God am not using any...not that I haven’t thought of it before but no I don’t need it when I can do this...though am not so sure about the side effects cuz am really starting to think it’s addictive...something I’ve been doing for no good reason lately...not knowing if it’s a good or a bad thing am still a very happy person but a thoughtless n’ emotionless one!!!...

• Pulling the plug on what I used to call my brain
• In a way I won't have to give in to my pain
• Surrender to being comfortably thoughtless
• Don’t care for sparks, I love my darkness!
• Go on n' take the lead, I don’t have to follow
• Am here today n' I'll be here tomorrow...

Something to think about

This really made me reflect on some of the blessings we take for granted...taken from the Autobiography of Malcolm X the chapter entitled "Saved"...this is what he said describing his first attempts to pray...

"The hardest test I ever faced in my life was praying. You understand. My comprehending, my believing the teachings of Mr. Muhammad had only required my mind's saying to me, "That's right!" or "I never thought of that."
But bending my knees to pray-that act-well, that took me a week.

You know what my life had been. Picking a lock to rob someone's house was the only way my knees had ever been bent before.

I had to force myself to bend my knees. And waves of shame and embarrassment would force me back up.
For evil to bend its knees, admitting its guilt, to implore the forgiveness of God, is the hardest thing in the world. It's easy for me to see and say that now. But then, when I was the personification of evil, I was going through it. Again, again, I would force myself back down into the praying-to-Allah posture. When finally I was able to make myself stay down-I didn't know what to say to Allah."